


Liberty Avenue Maternity Clinic

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-23
Updated: 2006-04-04
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Everything is the same except where it's different!





	1. Prologue and Chapter the First

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: OH, lots and lots of feedback -- but nothing bad cuz I'm sensitive!

The first chapter is called "Oot-Fray Oops-Lay" which is Pig Latin for "Fruit Loops" coz using a foreign language sounds really cool even when you don't know what you're talking about! Ya Know?  


* * *

Prologue:  
  
In an alternate universe where King George II reigns supreme, not only is abortion and birth control a felony punishable by death, but pregnancy is required. For everyone. Especially gay men.  
  
In the waiting room at the Liberty Avenue Maternity Clinic, Nurse Debbie and Nurse Joanie look over their happy mothers, waiting for their weekly check-ups.  
  
Among those waiting are:  
  
Brian and Justin -- they have a rather tempestuous relationship, to say the least. In fact, they get off on beating the shit out of each other, which makes it hard on the babies they both keep having (they are up to six right now -- three each). They are  
both pregnant -- but Brian isn't sure who the father of his offspring is, which has caused even more tension in his relationship with little Sunshine.  
  
Mikey -- pregnant with his first. Unfortunately, his partner, Ben, died in a tragic weightlifting accident at the gym, so he's depending on his Bestest Best Friend, Brian, to get him through this happy ordeal.  
  
Ted -- still addicted to crystal meth, his future sprog is also addicted -- but that's his problem, isn't it?  
  
Emmett -- is having his fifth baby. He likes to say that he pumps them out like a sow in mud -- which is exactly how he does pump them out. And how he gets them, too. The last was conceived in the pit at Babylon during Mud Flap Night.  
  
Carl -- he's a little old to be having another, but thems the breaks! No one is too old at the Liberty Avenue Maternity Clinic!  
  
Chapters will be posted at BJFic and I will then wait for the praise to pour down like piss in a public urinal. Which would be about right.  
  
  
Chapter the First  
  
"Why, Sonny Boy! You're here bright and early this morning!" said Nurse Joanie to her son, Brian Kinney, the pregnant ad exec.  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Mom," said Brian. He was nursing a bad hangover and a black eye. The hangover was from a sex party he'd attended the night before. The black eye was courtesy his beloved partner, Justin Sunshine Taylor, a world famous blond artist who sold millions of dollars worth of paintings even though he was only 21 and had been constantly pregnant since he lost his virginity to Brian at age 17.  
  
"Where did you get that nasty shiner?" asked Nurse Joanie.  
  
"This blond boy ass piece of shit gave it to me," complained Brian, the ad exec.  
  
"Was that nice, Sunshine?" cooed Nurse Joanie. She loved her Sonny Boy, the ad exec, and his partner, the blond artist, to pieces -- and all of their lovely children. Who were her grandchildren. Well, most of them. At least the ones Brian had pumped out were.  
  
"Get out of my face, you old bat!" growled Sunshine, reaching for a bucket, into which he puked profusely. They kept a lot of buckets in the lobby of the Liberty Avenue Maternity Clinic for the men to puke in. Sunshine was in the early days of his pregnancy, so his cute little tummy wasn't feeling very good in the morning!  
  
"Can you hand me that when you're finished?" moaned Ted, the boring accountant for Kinnetik. He was just coming down from his crystal meth high and that always made him sick to his stomach, especially when he was knocked up.  
  
"Oh, Teddy!" chided the proud and flamboyant Emmett. "You shouldn't take that stuff when you're expecting! Remember the last one you had? It had only one eye, right in the middle of its cute little forehead! It's a good thing that circus was looking for exhibits for their sideshow, or you would have had to pay a fortune for special glasses for that kid!"  
  
"Don't remind me," Ted rolled his eyes. "At least I invested the money I got for the kid in a mutual fund. That way my money will be secure even if I'm in pregnancy detox -- or jail!"  
  
"Oh, they won't put you in jail again, sweetie," said Emmett. "What happened to Dr. Crystal was just an unfortunate accident. Falling out of your sixth floor condo window could have happened to anyone."  
  
"Tell that to the police," said Ted, eyeing Carl, the friendly cop, who was sound asleep in his chair, his hands folded over his heavily pregnant belly.  
  
"Carl is on maternity leave," Emmett reminded Ted. "So he's off the force for now. Mayor Stockwell wants him to retire, but Carl is so dedicated to his job on the Pro-Pregnancy Squad that he just had to have another baby himself -- even at his advanced age of 63! Aren't the miracles of modern science wonderful?"  
  
"Yeah, wonderful," sighed Ted. Then he bent over the bucket and puked up his guts again. He needed some more crystal. Fast!  
  
Nurse Debbie, watching from her desk, smiled happily. All was well at the Liberty Avenue Maternity Clinic!  
  
  



	2. Chapter the 2nd

  
Author's notes: This chapter is called "Or-Pay Aby-Bay" which means "Poor Baby" in Pig Latin. See, it's a pun! Cuz Brian is a poor baby and so is the baby! Get it?  


* * *

"Brian, sweetie, you're first up this morning," said Nurse Debbie.

"Shit," swore Brian. "Don't I have time to go out and have a cigarette first?"

"Tell him to cut out the cigarettes, Deb," Justin begged. "Please! Smelling them early in the morning makes me wanna puke!"

"Shut the fuck up, Princess!" griped Brian. "Everything makes you wanna puke!"

"Asshole!"

"Twat!"

"Boys!" said Nurse Debbie, stepping between the lovers before they came to blows. "Remember that you have to think of your babies! You need to be calm. Serene. Take deep breaths. Like this!" Debbie took a large, heaving gasp of air and then blew it out loudly.

Justin tried to copy her, but ended up heaving right into the puke jar, much to Brian's amusement. 

"Ha ha!" he guffawed. "Look at Little Sunshine!"

"If I wasn't so sick, I'd knock your block off!" Justin moaned.

"You and what fucking army?" Brian snarled.

"That's enough!" said Nurse Joanie. "Brian -- march!" She pointed to the door of the examining room.

"Yes, Mommy," Brian mumbled. And he followed her back into the dark recesses of the Liberty Avenue Maternity Clinic.

Nurse Joanie handed Brian a blue paper gown. "Put this on and lie on the examining table."

"Can't you give me a break, Mom?" Brian pleaded. "I already have three brats I can't take care of! And Justin has three, too! Six kids in my loft! I lost my job because I can't work because I either have a truckload of kids to take care of or I'm so fat I can't sit behind a desk! I haven't seen my dick in four fucking years! When I fuck Justin or any other guy I have to feel around down there and hope for the best!"

"Don't be crude, Brian!" sighed Nurse Joanie. "These babies are gifts from God!"

"No they aren't!" Brian blasted. "They're gifts from Mayor Stockwell's Family Friendly Pittsburgh Program! One of his mad scientists put something in a free batch of E at Babylon a few years ago and ever since all the gay men in town have been pregnant constantly!"

"That's only a silly rumor," said Nurse Joanie. "It has nothing to do with science! It's a miracle."

"Miracle, schmiracle!" Brian cried. I mean it. He really cried. Like with tears and everything. Because he was tired of being pregnant. And tired of Justin being pregnant. Not that he didn't love little Brianna, little Justine, little Brian Jr., little Justin Jr., little Jacklyn, and little Craig. Because he did. But enough was enough!

The doctor came in and shoved his hands under the blue paper gown, feeling Brian's pelvis. "How are you feeling, dear?" asked Doctor Bob.

"How do you think I'm feeling?" Brian replied. "Like shit! What the fuck do you think?"

"Fine, fine!" said the clueless Doctor Bob. "And how is your pretty little partner?"

"Puking his guts out 24 hours a day," said Brian. "Doc, please! There's gotta be a way to stop all these babies! We've tried everything -- and they just keep coming!"

"Fine, fine!" said Doctor Bob. He patted Brian on his large belly. Brian was strong and healthy. He made a perfect mother! "Everything's coming along just fine! Next!"

Brian hoisted himself off the table and got dressed. The baby kicked vigorously. "Yeah, you shut the fuck up, too! Or else I'll name you after your horrible grandmother! That'll serve you right!"

The baby immediately stopped kicking. Nurse Joanie could scare the hell out of anyone.


End file.
